hotmesswithouthehot:

lemonmintcoughdrops:

the-grudge-girl:

I live in Osaka, Japan and often use the subway to go to work in the morning. One day while I was waiting for the train, I noticed a homeless man standing in the corner of the subway station muttering to himself as people passed by. He was holding out a cup and seemed to be begging for spare change.

An overweight woman passed by the homeless man and I distinctly heard him say, “Pig.”

Wow, this man is insulting people and he still expects them to give him money?

Then a tall businessman went by and the man muttered, “Human.”

Human? I can’t argue with that. Obviously, he was human.

The next day, I arrived early at the subway station and had some time to kill, so I decided to stand close to the homeless man and listen to his strange mutterings.  A thin, haggard-looking man passed in front of him and I heard the homeless guy mutter, “Cow.” Cow? The man was much too skinny to be a cow. To me, he resembled a turkey or a chicken. A minute or so later, an obese man went by and the homeless man said, “Potato.” Potato? I was under the impression that he called all fat people “Pig”.

That day at work, I couldn’t stop thinking about the homeless man and his puzzling behavior. I kept trying to find some logic or pattern in what he as muttering. Perhaps he has some kind of psychic ability. In Japan many people believe in reincarnation, so maybe he knows what these people were during a previous life. I observed the man many times and began to think my theory was right. I often heard him calling people things like “Rabbit”, “Onion”, “Sheep”, or “Tomato”.

One day, curiosity got the better of me and I decided to ask him what was going on. As I walked up to him, he looked at me and said, “Bread.” I tossed some money into his cup and asked him if he had some kind of psychic ability. The man smiled and said, “Yes, indeed. It is an ability I obtained many years ago, but it’s not what you might expect. I can’t tell the future or read minds or anything like that.”

“Then what is your ability?” I asked eagerly.

“The ability is merely to know the last thing somebody ate,” he said.

I laughed because I realized he was right. He said, “Bread.” The last thing I had eaten for breakfast that day was toast. I walked away shaking my head. Of all the psychic abilities someone could have, that one must be the most useless.

HUMAN

HUMAN

(Source: kanyewhisperer)

(Source: besturlonhere)

nefertsukia:

throbbing-lung-fiber:

le-corbeau-fou:

bates—motel:

I mean come on

the whole movie is gold

It’s just one pun after another

The movie is completely random and it’s amazing

 

someone find the shit hitting the fan gif.

"PUTANA DA SEATBELTZ"

youngblackandvegan:

yeah no

i’m not one of those people that will preach unconditional sex positivity

because some people’s “kinks” are having sex with children

and rubbing their genitals on random people on the train

so na

miss me with the lectures about “kink shaming”

because there is a line

and way too many people cross it

(Source: whatismgmt)

literallyrad:

literallyrad:

literallyrad:

literallyrad:

literallyrad:

im making friends with the netflix customer service guy

image

aw troy

image

how sweet of you 

I’M TALKING TO A DIFFERENT ONE AND TROY ASKED ABOTU ME

image

image

I FOUND TROY AGAIN A DAY LATER AND HE’S GONNA HIRE ME AS HIS PERSONAL PUBLICIST 

athomewithlana:

pxxies:

self-respect is my respect for myself

i could as well suck 3 thousand dicks and still respect myself so shut the fuck up

Hell I would respect u for sucking 3 thousand dicks

blaizezamboni:

okay no but lily actually heard james die. like she heard him fighting voldemort and she heard a thump as his body hit the ground and she knew for a brief moment that no matter what happened next james was dead. she knew that even if by some miracle she and harry made it out alive the love of her life, her best friend was dead and oh god my heart is breaking

(Source: panzyparkinson)

kyubiisaan:

lowwbloods:

officialwillowpape:

i searched up ‘hurdlers without hurdles’ on google and i dont regret it

these boots are made for walkin

The ol razzle dazzle

kyubiisaan:

lowwbloods:

officialwillowpape:

i searched up ‘hurdlers without hurdles’ on google and i dont regret it

these boots are made for walkin

The ol razzle dazzle

GET TO KNOW ME MEME: [3/8] favorite celebrity friendships ▶ Yvonne Strahovski & Zachary Levi

” They had never acted together. They didn’t know each other and we had no idea if these two had any chemistry. But I remember early on the pilot, I think it’s the first scene they ever filmed together. The moment is still so clear in my mind because we were shooting at this place called El Compadre and I remember sighing with relief and going, ‘Yes! They’ve got it. They’ve got it!’ ” - Chris Fedak

”Are you kidding me? I would gladly put my lips on her lips or whatever they put in the script. She is one of the most beautiful girls in the world. And it’s fun because she’s also a big tomboy in a lot of ways, too. She’s really down to earth and if I have to I will take a barrage of bullets. I’ll take a mortar to the chest if I have to, if that’s what we’re talking about.” - Zachary Levi

(Source: queenoutlawss)

chocolaty:

itsninjam:

tedmosbyisnotajerk:

if anyone ever asks me what tumblr is i’m gonna show them this video and just walk away

GOD ITS 5AM AND IM TRYING TO HOLD IN MY LAUGHTER FUCK

THIS IS TUMBLR. THIS IS WHAT TUMBLR IS THERE IS NO BETTER DEFINITION

(Source: theblackrichardcurtis)